love loss

It's been a week and only now have I been able to justify my emotions and understand how I feel about it all. You broke my heart, you really did. You broke it into so many pieces, you played with my mind, you gave me a slapping on the face, you really shut me down hard. I felt cheated on, played, used, and even humiliated. I hate how you approached it all. With little care and little respect. I'm not just some bitch, sleaze, or skank, you know how different I am compared to your many past. You even told me that. But even through your own realisation, you still weren't able to do it right. However I understand it may have been hard for you, and that I wasn't the only one in this situation that had become broken. It just suck hard. It sucks because even though it was all purposed to go "slowly", it still went by a mile, but we were cool with that. It sucks because I had put so much faith in you. It sucks that we we're truthfully both hopeful about the future and what was going to happen. Even through all that, you still failed me and both yourself. When I think about it all, I get angry and annoyed. Both at you and myself. I warned myself so many times to not go in too far, but even I didn't even listen to my own mind. I was too into you. I don't hate you, I know your intentions were true, real and right. It just hurts how you haven't made the effort to contact me. But in a way I don't care. I've accepted it all, to an extent. I just hope you do realise how bad you hurt me. What hurts even more is that you wish you didn't feel the way you feel now, you wish that everything could go back to how it was, I wish that too. We both want the same thing, but we can't. Because your confused, you don't know what you want anymore. I will be seeing you soon. Honestly I am excited, however I don't know what will happen. Honestly, I am hopeful. But whatever we'll see that happens in two/three days.