On a scale of 1 - Kevin Rudd, how rejected do you feel?

I feel like I'm way passed Krudd's level of rejection and humility. It's like every time I feel, somehow something gets in the way. It's like god is tryna keep me away from all this drama and experience. However when ever I receive from the opposite, as much as I even try to feel the same way, I know deep within me that I'm just lying to myself.

Obviously there has to be a reason to all this, and that just one day there will be that unbelieavably amazing one. But seriously, I'm sick of waiting. I want that one now.