too self absorbed to realise the immensity of my care, too scared to live in the past cos you know theres still something there

Awwwwwwww boys suck.

i know this girl who was an item with this boy. They started slow, but as soon as they defined their emotions for each other, things flew by fast for them. They were really into each other. At the beginning they would always hang out with each other, but as time went by she soon felt like she was lonely again. Like she was missing something but couldn't figure it out. She soon concluded that she missed her boyfriend a lot, despite the fact she would see him almost everyday. She questioned how that could be so? Confused, she went over her thoughts and memories. She came to the realisation that the past few weeks, she had not hung out with her boyfriend one on one. It was always with another person, or his mates. This made her insecure and disappointed. In need for desperate action, she decided to plan a date with her boyfriend. He agreed.

The night came. The usual occurred, he picked her up, and they drove to their location. Excited and relaxed was what she felt, knowing that they could finally have one on one time together. Arriving at their destination, like a gentleman he opened her car door and led her out. Everything seemed more than perfect. Walking towards the restaurant, she noticed other familiar cars parked within the same area. Its nothing, she thought to herself. And just as they entered the restaurant, she caught the view of familiar faces. It was her boyfriends mates. What we're they doing here, what happened to their date, she thought to herself. Struck by dissapointment, she felt like a rock had been thrown down her throat, had fallen to the bottom pit of her stomach. She knew what was coming for her, and she didn't like it.

He opened the restaurant door for her to enter, but she chose not to enter. She stood there, staring into his eyes, with sadness written all over her face, and plain confusion all over his.

Him: What's wrong babe?

Her: I thought we were going on a date?

Him: We are, that's why we're here, thats what we're doing?

Her: What, are we having a date with you friends?

She pointed to his mates, who sat at the table signed reserved. With faces of eagerness to rummage through food. Instantly he realised what was going on, and what was going through her head. His face changed, worried.

Her: Why do we always have to meet up with your mates? Why are they always with us, around us?

Him: Aww babe, come'on! Their my mates, my boys, and plus they we're hungry.

Her: But I'm your girl. I'm your girlfriend.

Him: Baby, I can't just tell them to leave. I'm sorry, I promise we'll have a date just the two us next time.

Her: Next time? What if your friends are there again?

Him: Well what can I do? What if they want to come?

Her: Tell them not to come.

Him: Babe, I can't just do th...

Her: You can't just ... be with me? Is that too much to ask?

Unexpectedly he took longer to respond than she had wished. From them on she knew, as much as she didn't want to, she knew she deserved better.

comforting to have the same emotions

Thoughts of others are always interesting

Hello, acquaintance.

Some people aren’t worth your time and energy.

Good-bye, my friend.

I suppose its been nice knowing you. The times and laughs we shared will slowly fade as they are replaced by new memories of those who truly matter, the people who have never and will never leave me behind.

I look back on the good times I spent with you and wonder where we went wrong. Was it simply a case of bad timing on both our parts? Or was it the time spent apart which resulted in a domino effect that cut off our ties with each other? Oh wait. I already know the answer. I clung onto the remnants of our broken relationship while you replaced me.

Are you happier now? You better be. Every time I see you, talk to you, or even hear about you, deep down I want to slap sense into you. I had thought that you were actually the “nice guy” you had claimed to be. I had thought that maybe you were one of the few people I could potentially trust. I had thought that our friendship was worthwhile. I. HAD. THOUGHT.

“Maybe some people should be around your entire life, and others should just make an appearance.” — Casey Cartwright, Greek S.3 Ep.16 ‘Your Friends and Neighbors’

Hello, acquaintance.

Everyone deserves a “Hello” in the morning. Everyone.

But don’t come running back to me if your world crumbles. Don’t pretend that we’re still friends. Don’t act like you still care about me. Don’t say “sorry” and expect me to believe it. Not anymore.

I’m tired and done with your nonsense. So for now, you are just another semi-familiar face in the crowd, another friend on facebook, another AIM buddy, another friend of a friend…

a general note

Choosing which pathway to take to adulthood really does affect how you go in life, and what journey you take. I kind of wish that I did choose to go to whitehouse fashion college. However I dont regret choosing to get a bachelor degree of communications, majoring in pr. Since choosing this pathway, my life has and is still what may be beyond amazing. Not only am I comfortable and confident with my subject, but I have indulged myself in what may be the absolute best people I have ever met. I have met so many people who are so diverse, that i definitely know we will be friends forever. And I have plenty confidence in saying that. No matter where we are, there is never an ounce of boredom. I never really took notice of how a close bunch we were, until my mishaps became public. They all gave me comfort and were really there. Not to mention when they told me that I was like a sister to them. It is then when I realised that even though it has been through a few months time that we have known each other, we all really are just that close. It's touching, naw.

Going back to the main subject, if i had not chosen this pathway, I would have not experienced so much shit, so much drama, so much trouble, so much laughter, so much love, so much craziness, so much rebelling, I wouldn't have met so many lovely people that I know now, those i can count on to have a crazy time, to just chill, to just eat out, to just have company, or even to be serious dnm and/or cry. And I definitely know I wouldn't have my life that I have right now.

Life is amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way.

what did I do that was so bad to make you say bye.

These words are so simple, yet so deep and powerful.

you quit smoking

you once said "I will never and won't ever quit smoking just because the person I am with doesn't want me to smoke or moreover tells me not the smoke. The only time I will quit is if the person I am with doesn't want me to smoke but will tolerate my actions because I am my own person." you then smiled and gave me a wink

with this in mind, we weren't even together at that time

realistically I know i did not completely influence this, but knowing i played some part in further making it happen is good enough

it is beyond satisfying knowing you were the good for someone, and the cause for their happiness.

I'm not going to lie, I just found out that you're even further away now and it ridiculously hurts. Your in another state. It hurts because your no longer accessible. It hurts because I didn't even know you were going. It hurts because even if I contact you on christmas day, I know for a fact that the hope that something might happen before new years will definitely not happen. It hurts because I know you are not going to approach me before 2011.

Also, something else that I wanted to point out is that I found out why you havent been talking to one of your best mates. You loser, you are so lost. Please find in yourself, the courage to lower your sky rocketing pride, please give up, no one thinks high of you. Please you're too proud, you definitely need someone, or say a female/motherly company authority to guide you. I wish you would look to and seek assistance from your mother. I wish you would approach me and talk to me, because I know you're troubled. I mean, I may not know your problems but I sincerely do want to help. And that's the truth.